What is an extrovert?

An extrovert is someone who tends to feel energised by company, conversation and things happening around them. They usually enjoy meeting people, think out loud and get restless with too much time alone. Being an extrovert isn't all or nothing: it means sitting towards the higher end of a scale that everyone is somewhere on.

Researchers spell it "extraversion" and describe it as one of the Big Five traits. You can read about the science on our extraversion trait page. This page is about what it's like in everyday life, and how to make the most of it.

What being an extrovert tends to look like

Common signs include:

• A quiet weekend sounds nice on Thursday and feels a bit flat by Sunday.
• You work out what you think by saying it to someone.
• You'll chat to the barista, the person next to you on the plane and their dog.
• You feel better after seeing people, even when you're tired.
• You tend to say yes first and work out the logistics later.
• Silence in a group feels like a problem you ought to solve.

It's also worth clearing up some myths. Extroverts aren't always loud. Plenty are warm, attentive and quite gentle. They aren't necessarily confident, either: you can love people and still worry about what they think of you. They also aren't shallow. Wanting lots of people around doesn't mean you can't be close to them, and an extrovert can feel lonely in a crowded room if nobody really knows them.

How being an extrovert shows up

At work

You tend to bring energy to a team. You'll start the conversation, introduce people to each other and speak up when a meeting goes quiet. You may do your best work with people nearby, and long solo stretches or heavily remote jobs may leave you feeling a little dimmed. If that's your setup, it's worth building contact in on purpose, such as a daily call, a coworking day or a thinking partner.

The watch-out is that your first thought gets heard before other people's best thought. Try a simple swap: at the start of a discussion, ask someone else to go first. Roles with lots of human contact and persuasion, like the enterprising career type or the social career type, often suit this energy, although they aren't the only path.

In love

You tend to be expressive and generous with attention, and you probably want to do life together: friends, plans, stories from your day. That can feel wonderful. If your partner leans introverted, it can also feel like a lot. When they need a night in, it isn't a verdict on you. Separate social lives can be really healthy: go to the party, have a great time, and come home to someone who's had a great night too.

With friends

You're often the one who gets everyone together. You remember whose birthday's coming and book the table. Friends appreciate that more than they say. You may also find you've got many friends and not as many people you can really be low with. It can be worth going deeper with two or three of them, and letting them see you on a flat day.

Strengths and watch-outs

The strengths include enthusiasm, ease with new people and a knack for building momentum. You help others feel included, and you often recover from social knocks quickly.

The watch-outs have fixes. You may talk over quieter people without meaning to, so try leaving a pause and asking a real question. You may overcommit, so check your calendar before saying yes, not after. You may fill every gap to avoid sitting with a hard feeling, so try a walk with no podcast now and then. And you might assume others want what you want: extra attention isn't always a gift, so it's worth asking.

How to work with someone high or low in extroversion

Someone strongly extroverted

• Give them chances to talk things through. It's often how they think.
• Don't assume everything they say is a firm position. They might be testing ideas.
• Give them people-facing work and variety when you can.
• Tell them kindly if you need more airtime. They usually don't mean to dominate.
• Reply when you can. A long silence can feel odd to them, even if it's normal for you.

Someone only mildly extroverted, or not at all

• If you're the extrovert, offer agendas, and ask for written input as well as discussion.
• Don't mistake quiet for unhappy, or for having nothing to say.
• Ask, "Do you want company or space?" It's a simple way to avoid guessing.
• Keep group sizes small sometimes. You may get a side of them you never see at a big table.

If you feel extroverted some days and not others, you could be closer to the middle, which we cover on the ambivert page.

Research notes

• It may be about reward. Lucas and colleagues (2000) tested data from 39 nations and found that the parts of extraversion hold together through sensitivity to reward. Sociability is important, but it may be a by-product. That fits the common experience that extroverts light up around people because people feel rewarding.
• Acting extroverted feels good, for most people. Fleeson, Malanos and Achille (2002) found that people reported being happier during periods when they acted more extraverted. Zelenski and colleagues (2012) also found that mood benefits showed up even for people acting out of character. So part of what extroverts get from their habits may be open to everyone.
• Leadership, with limits. Judge and colleagues (2002) found extraversion was the most consistent Big Five correlate of leadership. That's about who emerges and is judged as effective, and other research complicates the picture.
• More isn't always better. Grant (2013) studied 340 call-centre representatives and found that those in the middle of the extraversion scale brought in the most revenue, not those at the top. His explanation is that people in the middle can move between talking and listening. It's one study, but it's a useful nudge: extroverts can gain a lot from practising listening.

Keep in mind that being an extrovert isn't the same as being skilled with people. Reading a room is a separate ability, closer to emotional intelligence, and it's something you can practise.

Find out how your energy works

You may already call yourself an extrovert. The more useful question is what kind: how much contact you need, how you recharge, and how much stimulation you enjoy. Take the Social Energy Expedition to find out. It takes about four minutes and uses Selfcarta's own questions, which haven't yet been independently validated.