Your values vs your personality

When you compare your values vs your personality, the simplest way to see it is this: personality is how you tend to think, feel and act, while values are what you believe matters. The two are related, but research shows that the links are generally not large, which means they are different things. You can be shy and still deeply value connection, or very organised and still prize adventure.

Knowing both can explain something many of us feel: the gap between how we naturally behave and what we actually care about.

What is the actual difference?

A quick way to tell them apart is to ask two different questions.

• Personality asks: "What am I usually like?" For example, you tend to plan ahead, or you tend to feel energised around people.
• Values ask: "What do I want my life to stand for?" For example, you care about fairness, or you want security for your family.

Shalom Schwartz, whose theory of values is the best known in this field, identifies ten basic personal values that are recognised across cultures. His overview also spends time on how values differ from related concepts, including traits. Findings from 82 countries reported in that article support the theory's validity across cultures, though people differ a lot in which values they rank first.

Schwartz's theory also sees values as forming a circular structure, with some values sitting naturally together and others in tension. Adventure and tradition, for instance, can pull you in opposite directions. That tension is often what makes a choice feel hard.

Where they connect

Traits and values aren't strangers. Sonia Roccas and colleagues studied 246 students and found some clear patterns:

• Agreeableness went with benevolence and tradition values
• Openness went with self-direction and universalism values
• Extraversion went with achievement and stimulation values
• Conscientiousness went with achievement and conformity values

That makes sense. If you are naturally curious, you may well come to value independent thinking. It is one student sample, but a larger study reached a similar conclusion.

Laura Parks-Leduc, Gilad Feldman and Anat Bardi combined 60 studies in a meta-analysis. They found relationships between traits and values that were consistent and made theoretical sense, but were generally not large. They took that as a sign that traits and values are distinct. They also found that more cognitive traits, such as openness, are more strongly related to values than more emotional ones, such as those to do with stress and worry.

Why values may guide you differently

Roccas and colleagues also found support for an idea that many people recognise from experience: the influence of values on behaviour seems to depend more on deliberate thought than the influence of traits does.

In everyday terms, your traits may show up on their own. You walk into a party and your energy lifts, or it doesn't. Values tend to come in when you stop and decide. You might feel the pull to stay home, and then go to your friend's opening anyway, because showing up matters to you.

This is one reason values can be so useful in a tough decision. They are the part you get to consult on purpose.

When your values and tendencies don't match

This is common, and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

You value connection, but you recharge alone. Quality may work better for you than quantity. One long dinner a month can honour both sides, and a full social calendar might not.

You value achievement, but you dislike competition. You could set your own goals and measure against last year's you, not against the person at the next desk.

You value adventure, but you like a plan. A well-researched trip counts. Planned adventure is still adventure.

You value fairness, but you avoid conflict. Practise raising small things early, in writing if that is easier. Our Conflict Style Expedition can show how you tend to approach these moments. It uses Selfcarta's own questions, which are not yet independently validated.

The aim is to find a way of living your values that fits how you tend to work, not to force your personality into a shape it doesn't hold.

How to use both

Here is a simple exercise. It takes about ten minutes.

1. Think of a decision you've found hard recently. Perhaps a job offer, or how to spend your weekends.
2. Ask what your tendencies want. What would feel easy and natural?
3. Ask what your values want. What would you be glad you did in a year?
4. Look at the gap. If they agree, you probably have your answer. If they don't, ask what small step could serve the value without burning you out.

It can also help to see your personality side clearly. The Core Personality Expedition maps your Big Five traits with public-domain IPIP items. If you are curious whether either picture matches how you come across, Second Sight lets people who know you rate you anonymously, averaged with at least two others.

Find what really drives you

Most of us can name some values on the spot. Fewer of us know which ones win when they compete. The Core Values Expedition looks at ten values, from security and tradition to adventure and creativity, and it takes about six minutes. It is free to take with no sign-up. It uses Selfcarta's own questions, which are not yet independently validated, so treat your result as a good start to a conversation with yourself.