How to work with someone calm under pressure

Working with someone calm under pressure is easiest when you rely on their steadiness in a crisis, tell them outright when something is urgent, and don't assume their even tone means they don't care. People high in emotional stability tend to stay level when things go wrong. That's a real asset, and it also has a few blind spots that are easy to work around.

Questions people ask about the steady colleague

Why don't they seem bothered?

The website has crashed on launch day. You are pacing, and your stomach is in knots. Hamish looks up, says "Right, what have we got?" and starts reading the logs. His tone hasn't changed since breakfast.

It might feel like he doesn't grasp how serious this is. Usually he does. His body just isn't sounding the same alarm as yours. Ask him what he thinks is at stake before you decide he's missed it. You will probably find that he's several steps ahead.

Do they actually care about the work?

Most likely, yes. Worry and caring are different things, even though they can look alike from the outside. Some people show commitment through visible stress. Others show it by staying back until the problem is fixed, and never mentioning it. If you are measuring dedication by how tense someone looks, you might undervalue your steadiest person.

How do I get them to take a risk seriously?

Someone calm may see a looming problem and just think, "We'll deal with that when it comes." If you want action now, don't try to transfer your anxiety. Give them the facts, the date and the cost:

"If the audit starts on the 3rd and these records aren't ready, we could lose the contract. I'd like a plan by Thursday. Which piece can you own?"

Your feeling that something's wrong may also be useful to them. Those who feel stress early tend to notice small warning signs. Say so: "I know I'm the worrier here, and that's why I noticed this." A calm colleague plus an early-warning colleague can be a formidable pair.

Why do I feel worse after talking to them?

You went to them upset, and they answered with "It'll be fine." For them, that's meant to be reassuring. To you, it might sound like a brush-off. You can tell them what you want from the conversation:

"I know it'll probably be fine. Right now, I just need you to agree that this week has been a nightmare. Then I'd love your help working out what to do first."

Most will do this gladly. Nobody had told them that was the job.

Will they notice when others are struggling?

Maybe not. If pressure doesn't weigh much on them, they may underestimate how heavily it sits on others, especially when they're leading. If you work with them closely, you could be their extra pair of eyes. "The grads looked wrecked after that meeting. A quick word from you would mean a lot." They might be genuinely glad to know.

Where should they be on a team?

Think about the roles where panic is expensive: incident lead, the person on the phone with an upset client, the one chairing the crisis meeting. Their voice can calm everyone else, and even the room's breathing may change when they take over. Put them there on purpose, and tell them why. They may have no idea it's unusual.

Remember that staying calm doesn't mean they have no limit. Steady people can get tired and overloaded too, and might give fewer signs of it. A periodic "How are you actually going?" is a good habit, and it's kind.

Other angles on this trait

Living with this kind of calm brings different questions, so we wrote how to love someone who stays calm in a crisis. For the other end of the scale, try how to love someone who feels things deeply and how to be friends with someone who feels deeply.

Calm people may never think to tell you what they need, and you can invite them to. Get a Field Guide written for the people in your life.

Are you the steady one or the early-warning system? Find out with the Core Personality Expedition.